A sexual assault on a woman. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon story. This time it was a CBS correspondent reporting from Egypt on the problems going on there right now. Problems I am not going to discuss now, because they will take away from what this blog is about. This was an attack on a woman who was trying to get the story of these people out to the rest of the world. The same people who attacked her are people she was telling the story of. First I want to commend Ms. Logan on her decision to make her attack public knowledge. That is something that a person who has been sexually assaulted never has to do, and often times do not do. It is a very personal, private matter and to go public about it is not an easy thing to do.
This blog post was inspired by other comments on other blogs and websites. One person even posted on their Twitter "sometimes we have to find humor in the small things", while as a general rule, I think humor can help people get through a lot, a sexual assault is neither a "small thing" nor is it in anyway humorous. This person also posted on their Twitter that Ms. Logan "had to outdo Anderson" by getting raped. Yes, that was her plan, outdoing Cooper Anderson. On a blog someone posted on Feb. 3rd: "OMG if I were her captors and there were no sanctions for doing so? I would totally rape her". That blog has since been updated to say "Super funny joke deleted in the light of sad news that Lara Logan was raped in Egypt. Can I just say, however, that I soooo totally called this?" First of all, the supposed "joke" was not funny at all, even if Ms. Logan had not subsequently been raped, and it should never have been said. Second of all, taking credit for "calling" a sexual assault? Really? What kind of person posts this stuff?
This blog post is not about what other bloggers are posting, though. It may have been inspired by other people and other blogs, but it is about blaming the victim. In the case of a sexual assault, the victim is often blamed. She was wearing provocative clothing or she said yes up until that point, how could she expect him to stop or as some people are saying in this case, she should not have been there. These comments or any comments like them all do the same thing. They blame the survivor. Yes survivor. Because if a person is attacked and they are continually called a victim, that is what they will continually be thought of. Ms. Logan was a victim, she is now a survivor. At some point we have to take back our control. It is at that point we are no longer a victim. My first marriage was abusive. I allowed myself to be a victim for many years after the marriage ended. Until I realized that I survived the situation and came out a stronger woman. I am a survivor and will never be a victim again. Once I realized I was a survivor was also when I stopped being in relationships where I was in someway abused, whether it be physically, emotionally, or mentally. Like all survivors of abuse I am now in control of my own life.
Back to the subject at hand. There is nothing that gives one human being the right to abuse another. Nothing at all. Not what they are wearing. Not where they are. Not when they say no. Or any other reason that people find to blame the victim. Myself, as strong as I think I am, I could not be in another country where there was a lot of unrest reporting on the situation. Not because I don't think I would belong there, but because I think I would be too afraid to be there. But I have every right not only to be there, but to be there without being attacked. I have every right to be anywhere I choose, any time I choose. So does every women. When we blame the victim we are taking the focus off of where it needs to be. First of all, we need to think about the what the woman went through and what she may need to get through it. Second of all we need to think about the perpetrator and the fact that he (or she) needs to face consequences for their actions.
One of my most fervent wishes is that when we think about the victim or survivor of any crime, we don't think of what the person was doing or wearing or where they were, or find any way at all to blame the victim. We simply think of the person as a victim of a crime and do whatever we can to help get that person through the tough times. Help them to become a true survivor, not just a person who survived the crime, but a person who overcame the crime in every way. A person who got through the pain, physical, mental and emotional pain, and came out the other side. Let's simply be kind, compassionate human beings who want to help our fellow citizens, instead of making their life more difficult.
Janet Lee Smith
2/16/2011
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